Tags
Accomplishements, Family, Focus, Love, Support, Thankful, Weight Loss
Tonight we slip our feet into these sleek Tom Ford Stilettos simply to escape the challenging week that I have faced thus far. I felt that if I slipped my feet into these shoes, I could forget every worry that I had, every doubt in my weary mind, every sad moment that I endured, and all could be forgotten in that one moment of walking in these shoes. If only it where that easy to escape…
Ordinarily, I am a private person to complete strangers and/or people that I don’t know that well. I only open up to those that I feel a strong connection with or ones that I can trust with my deepest, darkest secrets. However, I promised that I would be completely honest in this blog and I intend on staying true to that promise.
I have been blessed by God’s hand & fate to be surrounded by all of the wonderful people that I am in this life. I could not be richer as a person with the amazing support & love I receive from my friends and family. Growing up, my mom was a single parent who so strongly raised my brother and I all on her own. My uncles were both father figures to my brother & I in their own ways, but nothing quite filled that void that was missing in my life. I always watched with envy as most of my friends had their dads in their lives. I saw the admiration in their eyes as they talked about their dads, and I never knew what that felt like completely.
My mom met an incredible guy with whom she married and has been with these past nine years. He is the guy that took that missing void out of my life & made me genuinely feel like his daughter. Every year around Christmas, we spend an entire day baking where he teaches me his “secret family recipes.” We watch weird shows together like The Men Who Built America, we have the same warped sense of humor, and overall I adore him like a daughter does her dad. Sunday night he went on his nightly walk as he does every night and someone drove by and shot him for no apparent reason. Luckily, this story has a happy ending as he survived & is doing well. However, there is still concern about the bullet inside of him, but that’s something he will have to decide later.
When that happened to such a fun loving guy like my dad, it broke my heart. How could anyone ever want to hurt such a happy guy? Why would anyone try to harm another human being, let alone someone they don’t even know? How can people be so cruel? These questions just circulated around in my head and all I could do was pray for those heartless people. I prayed that one day they will get what is coming to them. I know that’s not exactly what I should have prayed for, but the taste of bitterness still lingered in my blood. I should have prayed for them to find peace within themselves to be better people.
Naturally, Weight Watchers was one of the last things on my mind as I sat in an ER room with nothing but vending machines and a horrible cafeteria at my grasp. You can’t exactly plan your meals around an unexpected ER visit. I emotionally ate until my heart was content. I ate ice cream, Red Vines, Wendy’s, a Kit Kat bar, tortellini from this Italian Restaurant, and a huge slice of chocolate cake compliments of Safeway. This was all in a three day span that I ate these very delicious, yet horrible foods. Here’s the thing…my anger, hurt, frustration, sadness, worry & fear were all there to welcome me when the “food high” died off. After I finished my last bite of that moist chocolate cake, I felt nothing else other than regret. I knew better and yet I allowed myself to emotionally eat in a time of crisis. I honestly thought I had shaken that God-awful habit of mine, but to my disappointment I haven’t yet. I still have some work to do in that department.
I have a lot to be thankful for this week as we approach Thanksgiving. My dad is going to be fine. The rest of my family is healthy & happy. I have a warm house to come home to. Friends that I adore & love. Supportive people in my life. New friendships that I am building. Old friends that are only a quick phone call away. My sweet boy cat Knoxy. And healthy food to eat. I am a lucky girl to have all of those things. But I am even luckier to have the ability to recognize when I have relapsed with food and to not stay in denial. To correct my mistakes and move forward. That’s all you really can do 🙂
I am thankful every day that I can write my life experiences here in this blog. “Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is a spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace & gratitude.” ~ Wallace D. Wattles
I am thankful for my choice to welcome Weight Watchers into my life. “Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
And I am thankful for all of you who take the time to read my words & truly believe in me enough to follow my blog. “A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.” ~ Lao Tze
It’s time to get back to reality and take of these beautiful shoes that let us escape for a brief minute. These are my final words of wisdom in this particular blog. “Never take what you love for granted…not your devoted family members, loyal friends, the love of your life, the luxury of shelter or that expensive pair of shoes in your closet.” ~ Me